At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
