is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Boobs speak an international language.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
