it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
