Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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