yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
