Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
