its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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