worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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