apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
