i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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