there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
