She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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