Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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