if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
