You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
