There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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