Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
