just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
