I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
His nipple licking is glorious
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