One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
