He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
