Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
