And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
