oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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