dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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