it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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