Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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