Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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