absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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