I wannas sexs uuuuu
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
