I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
