Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
