Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
