she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
