He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just want nice things and good sex
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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