I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
