you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
