JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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