is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
