Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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