even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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