Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize