The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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