but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
