this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
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I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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