spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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