That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize