My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
