i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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