i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Fuck appropriateness.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
