I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
