Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
