You just made me feel so damn special
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
