Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
