So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
