He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
