just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
